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Comercial idiocies

This is something that bothers me a good bit. Stupid commercials. I am not talking about just ‘commercials are stupid’ in general, I mean really stupid, logic defying, or just plain annoying commercials in general.

If your commercial is annoying, its not going to make people want to buy your product! I have three commercials that I’d like to mention here, hopefully some of you are at least a little entertained by it.

1: Starbucks Vita

This is one that I see nonstop. I watch a lot of videos online, and a few sites have this commercial play as a pre-roll to every single video every single time. I have literally the entire commercial memorized against my will. Including what makes this commercial so wrong.

First of all; the commercial does not begin with why their product is good. Infact, they advertise that their product is exactly the same as all their other products and therefor should taste exactly the same. Now, Vita is a stir-in coffee mix, so even if it is harvested and roasted the same as the other coffees, the additional processing does have an effect on the flavor.

Now, Here’s the kicker, it finishes by saying “love it, or we’ll send you a bag of our coffee free” well hold on just one minute! You JUST SAID it tastes exactly like your other coffees, if this is true, wouldn’t that mean I will hate the bag you send me as well??

2: Cheerios ‘for baby’s commercial’

This is one of the most horrifying commercials I have ever seen. It feels like my ears are going to start bleeding when I hear that spoiled rotten brat’s voice.

Is this seriously what Cheerios thinks a good face to put on their product sounds like? Oh I get the train of thought “We’ll show even this picky person loves your product” but instead, the commercial associates it’s brand with this annoying as hell kid.

The worst part is; cheerios isn’t exactly kid friendly. It’s practically tasteless, or at least it was last time I ate it. When I was a kid, I drowned it in sugar so it could eat it. This commercial’s ‘that’s for babies’ slogan would be exactly as effective advertising Raisin Bran.

3: Anything using the letter i in front of another word.

Yes, we get it. Apple is popular. The iPhone was popular. People like the iPad. Here’s the problem; most of these companies? ARE NOT APPLE. I’ve seen the letter i thrown in front of too many things to name. I’ve seen even a CAR with an i thrown in front of it’s name.

This is just a completely cheap gimmick to associate themselves with apple in order to get attention. Last I checked? Apple deals in computer technology, not motor transportation. I think there’s also some teen TV show using the i gimmick.

So, seriously? Give it a rest. At this point, it seems like ‘i’ is shorthand for ‘Please accidentally associate us with Apple’ but really nowadays, if it isn’t a phone or tablet, I’m just going to assume it’s real name is iFail.

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