Doormen, closing doors on opportunity.

Its the end of the world! Oh horror of horrors, truly we are all doomed, DOOMED! Oh, you foolish New Yorkers, why could you not have treated your Doormen better while they were around? How is the world to survive without paying somebody to stand around and open doors for us?

In this tight economy, where could we even FIND somebody willing to get paid to open doors for other people? This kind of work is along the same lines as sewage working and bovine insemination, there just are no people willing to deal with the stress and demands of this job, afterall, everybody knows that there are more germs on an average doorknob than any other part of the house!

I do hope we can come up with a compromise soon, pay raises, bonuses, benefits, whatever it takes to please! How, oh how can our world function if we don’t have anybody to do remedial tasks that a four year old could perform? We’d lose valuable nanoseconds stopping at every doorway as raptors jettisoned from a time rift hurl themselves at our soft, unprotected backs.

Ok, maybe that last bit was a little over the top but seriously, Doormen? On strike? In this economy? I work in the hot sun bending metal for a living, they really don’t have any excuse to go on strike, unless part of their job requirements is a swift gut punch on Tuesdays or something.

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